Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Ease and Heart

On an airplane yesterday, I was seated next to a middle-aged man in a pilot uniform.  What did I do?  I asked him about being a pilot-- about his schedule, about where he flies and how long he has been flying, etc.

Last month I met a musician and solely talked about the music industry.

After both conversations, I felt like such a dud.

I know what it's like to have people constantly ask you the same basic questions over and over.  It is exhausting and completely lackluster conversation.

Sometimes I'm genuinely interested to have answers to those questions.  But, I wonder if more often than not, I take that route of conversation because it is the easy, effortless option?  Whatever the reason, does it get me to the heart of the matter? To the heart of the person? Do I even care to?

[Answer: Of course I care to get to know the heart of a person-- what makes them tick-- which is why it bothers me that I've let this happen too often recently.]

I don't want to have the easy conversations any more.  I am so much better at conversation than that!

As I was contemplating this, I had a few thoughts run through my mind: I wonder if God ever feels like that when I pray to Him about the same things? Are my prayers exhausting and lackluster to Him?  Am I really getting to know Him through my prayers?

I know God is interested in what I'm interested in.  If I need to talk about the same things or ask the same questions all the time, He's okay with it.  Are there better ways to communicate with Him? Definitely.  Yet, I believe God simply wants us to pray, to believe that He is there and to trust Him.  As we learn to communicate better with Him over time with practice, we get to the heart of the matter and we get to know Him better.

Sunday, June 8, 2014

Pure Joy

Played tug-o-war over Jonah with Finn in SD last week-- Finn was winning in this pic. So glad Valeri captured this exact moment. When I saw this I thought, "that is a look of pure joy on my face". Love being with those boys.

I wish I had the words to adequately express how happy my heart was this day. 

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

To: Grandma, From: Rachelle

Ashley sent me a text this morning with this picture she found at Mom's house. Mom must have brought this back from her parents' house.

I imagine I drew this at least 20 years ago which means Grandma kept it for the remaining fifteen years of her life. A silly picture of the world by one of her 34 grandchildren! I wonder what else she kept. 

Grandparents really are the best, aren't they? 

Thursday, March 20, 2014


 I wrote this a few weeks ago.

I turned 29 years old on Monday. Aging is the strangest, don't you think? Although age is only a marker of time passed, there can be so much significance (or lack of significance) at different points along the way. Quite a few people let me know that 29 was one of their worst years-- thanks, guys! -- however, I couldn't help but feel the opposite for the upcoming year for myself. If how I spent my birthday is any indication of what I should expect for my 30th year, then I'm set to feel really loved this year, to work, to learn, to provide service and to be surrounded by really good people.

The day started off at 5:00am cleaning my room, reading my scriptures and just enjoying the stillness of the morning until it was time to work driving kids to school. Between answering phone calls from sweet friends and family and getting ready for the day, I studied a bit for the midterm I had later that day. On my way to school I stopped by Diddy Riese in Westwood and picked up some cookies for my classmates then aced my exam (or so I feel). From school, I picked up my friend Miriam from her work to give her a ride to my birthday dinner. Dinner was especially great. I chose Cholada Thai Beach Cuisine here in Malibu-- looks like a dive but the food is GOOD. Better than the food was the company of eight friends I love and trust. The day could only have been better if my out of town family and friends had been here.

I had always pictured myself in a much different place at age 29. I'm here now and although it's different than I ever expected, it is good. I feel very calm and at peace with how life is unfolding. So far it's been exactly what I've needed. I'm finally getting a hang of what I want and what I need and am grateful to have my needs met.

Here's to a great 30th year!

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Seeing Stars

I watched the season premiere of a certain hospital drama on tv the other night and it reminded me of a fun, silent exchange I had a few weeks ago with a certain 'dreamy' doctor on that show. Thought I'd tell you about it. 

I see this particular actor on, what I consider, a fairly regular basis. I never talk with him or outwardly acknowledge him because I'd like to be one of those people that lets celebrities live their lives as normally as possible-- especially since I typically see him at the kids' school. 

Side note: if I had a top ten list for celebrities, this guy would probably be in my top 3 so, needless to say, I enjoyed the exchange. 

It was nothing out of the ordinary, just a typical trip to pick up the kids from school. I had curled my hair and was feeling and looking good. On the way to the school I thought to myself how it was time for another encounter with this actor. Always wishful thinking over here! :) As I drove passed the gate where all the parents and nannies wait to get the kids, I saw him. "Yessssss!" I thought.

I parked and walked toward the gate only to have this guy turn to see who was walking his way. He turned back to face toward the gate as I stopped to wait a little behind him and to his right by myself. 

Here's when he made my day even better:
He turned back around, looked directly at me (believe me, there was no one else standing near me) and gave me his little side smile. I smiled back and that was that! The bell rang, the principal opened the gate and we all walked in to get our kids. 

I could hardly wait until I got home to text my friend who also loves him: "I made P****** freakin' D****** do a double take!" 

I'd like to think it was my beauty (and not the fact that he and I were matching in our black v-necks and dark fitted jeans) that made him turn back around and smile. A girl can dream, right? :) 

In the words of Jill: "You will always have this moment, Rachelle."

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Finding My Way: Mid-Twenties Edition

I suppose life is one big cycle of finding our way, isn't it? Just as we find our way in one aspect of life, we arrive at a fork in the road of another aspect. There's that Robert Frost quote about how he can summarize everything he's learned about life with three words; "it goes on." I really like that quote, but I think it can be built upon. I'm no scholar or poet, but my version of Mr. Frost's quote would be this: In seven words I can sum up everything I've learned about life; it goes on and so must we. Because if life goes on-- which it does-- and we don't move along with it, I just don't believe that's a life well-lived.

The last couple of years have been a lesson for me in moving forward with life. As the scriptures say it: to act and not to be acted upon. (2 Ne 2:26) I'll be the first to admit it isn't easy though. Dang fear of the unknown! Truth be told, I submitted my graduate school application on the last day before the deadline because I was paying too much attention to my fears. When it came down to it, though, I knew I had to do it and to believe that even if I were to be rejected, it'd still be a step forward on the path. "All these things shall give thee experience and shall be for thy good," right? (D&C 122:7) I really believe that.

Now, two weeks into my graduate program, I'm so glad I submitted that application! I don't have all the answers and I'm still trying to navigate through life, but I am learning so much. Robert Frost was right, life goes on, but we decide whether we watch it go or hop on and enjoy the ride.

Friday, August 16, 2013

The Mormonizing of America

Read this article today and had to share. This was probably all over Facebook nine months ago when it was written, but I wasn't on Facebook nine months ago so I'm sharing it now.

Mormons rise in this life because it is what their religion calls for. Achieving. Progressing. Learning. Forward, upward motion. This is the lifeblood of earthly Mormonism. Management, leadership, and organizing are the essential skills of the faith. It is no wonder that Mormons have grown so rapidly and reached such stellar heights in American culture. And there is much more to come.

 I'm a Mormon. I know it, I live it, I love it.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

What's the Opposite of a Fashionista?

Me-- I'm the opposite of a fashionista. I saw this photo the other day and realized my struggle with fashion has been a battle I've been fighting for a long time. This was July 4, 1998-- at Pedretti Park for the church's Pancake Breakfast. I was 13 and I dressed like a boy-- I think that t-shirt might even have belonged to one of my brothers. And my all-black leather Nikes with the clear sole; I can remember how happy I was to get those shoes. This was back in the day when I used to rollerblade around my neighborhood almost every day after school for a few hours. Legs for days! 

Though I still struggle with fashion, I've at least learned to imitate better...hopefully that's a step toward one day having my own fashion sense! 

Wednesday, July 10, 2013


The biggest update in my life right now is this: I'm going back to school! I'm super excited about it!

M.A. in Clinical Psychology, Marriage & Family Therapy at Pepperdine.

The great thing about the program is I can continue my job and take classes.

I picked up and left Utah a year and a half ago no longer wanting to be content with what was comfortable and in search of figuring out what I really wanted and needed. It's been an interesting year and a half, but it has gotten me here and I am so thankful for that.

For now, I'm practicing my "how does that make you feel?" face and getting pumped to be back in the classroom.